it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
