I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
