I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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