may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
