my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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