I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize