They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
