every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
