he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
