I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
