I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
love makes seman taste better
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
