We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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