his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
