glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
