We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
