i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
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