i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
oh god the rape fog is back!
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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