my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
