i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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