i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
