i barfeds in our rink
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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