Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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