That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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