It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
