i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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