I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Of course I have a pirate flag
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize