He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
