Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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