whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize