I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
