I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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