I want to stick my p in your. b.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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