I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize