If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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