This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Farmville is her only friend.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
