He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
