Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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