i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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