So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
