Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
