i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
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