hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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