do herpes really smell.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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