yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
