I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
