and next time when you feel me up, do it right
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
