I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
