My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I will be naked everywhere
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
