mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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