i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
