Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
