just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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