it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
