time to smoke my breakfast
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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