trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
