high people should be assigned attendants
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
