We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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