He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
is that a dick in a sweater?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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