Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
