were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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