windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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