you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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