Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
