Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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