they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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