Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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