We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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