How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize