That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
