She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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