You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
