I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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