What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
