Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
