i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
someone owes me an orgasm
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
