Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
